Lupa

Hari ini, saya mula tersedar akan sesuatu. Sesuatu yang hampir hilang daripada jasad ini. Yang mula luput memori untuk menekan nekan butang butang keyboard, seraya mengungkap kata dan menyampai maksud. Lupa. Saya betul-betul lupa bagaimana cara untuk menulis, meluah, merangkap pada entri di ruang kecil ini. Ruang ini mungkin kecil, walhal ruang kecil ini mampu memberi 1001 penawar pada saya suatu ketika dulu. Waktu saya tidak punya siapa siapa yang rapat untuk luah kecamuk di hati. Mudah betul lupa.

Mujur tatkala berbicara dengan kenalan lama, saya salin&tampal alamat blog ini pada dia. Konon mahu memperkenalkan pemilik blog tersebut, konon konon mahu memperkenalkan dia pada pemilik blog tersebut. Dah macam agen cari jodoh pulak. Ok, cut it out. Lantas, dengan tidak sengaja saya membaca tiap kata dan baris ayat di blog tersebut. Dan, satu perasaan yang dulu pernah hinggap di dalam diri muncul kembali. Senyap senyap ia menyapa. Rindu betul. Sudah sekian lama perasaan itu menyepi, mendiam diri. Semenjak saya sibuk dengan urusan menulis thesis. Rasa itu kian lama kian menyepi. Tidak pernah ia menonjol diri, dan saya juga tidak sedar akan kesepian itu buat kesekian kalinya.

Sekarang, maksud saya.. kala ini, tangan ini mula menari nari di atas butang butang keyboard. Walau ada langkah yang masih sumbang dan kekok di sini sana, saya masih truskan. Kerna rasa sayang terhadap rasa yang muncul kembali buat kesekian kalinya, saya gagahkan diri. Tidak mahu saya lupa. Bukan kacang lupakan kulit. Bukan , saya. Pernah suatu ketika saya ditimpa tekanan yang maha dasyat, jauh dari keluarga dan tidak ada siapa siapa mahu meminjamkan telinga.. di sini juga saya coretkan dan luahkan. Sedikit sebanyak, dapat juga kurangkan tekanan yang menimpa.

Sungguh saya berterima kasih pada blog tersebut yang mengingat kan saya pada keindahan kata dan ayat. Sungguh. Juga pada pemilik blog tersebut yang menginspirasikan saya dalam bidang ini di awal tahun 2007. Terima kasih!! Truely inspired by yours, Kak Sue!! ^^

-nuna-

Dream of being a Great one.

Syukur to The Almighty. Alhamdulillah. Till now, everything are in their own places, perfectly fit. Once again, I’m grateful… grateful to The Creator, yes. Because, Allah had created such a wonderful stories of mine that were collected from pieces of  life flavors; sweet & sour. And.. from there, I learnt a lot. This life overflowed with love & joy.. by great people around me. Again, I’m grateful  since You had written; for me to meet them. The greatest ones. Alhamdulillah.

Just tonight, I’m in a sorrow. Perhaps, this is the test before I can taste the sweetness at the end? But hey, I’m in need of motivation  and courage right here, right now. I want to be liked some great people. I want to do something that outrages. I want to make the family proud of me. I want to do something for the country. I want to have a better life with my future family. I want to set a good example for others. There are a lot of things that I want to do. Hence, I need to endure the  temporary consequences. And I need to be strong and have a faith on Him. The absolute thing.


p/s: Sorry, if you guys can’t reach me through facebook/twitter. Alhamdulillah, I’m still healthy and happy with life! ^^  It is just  I need some times to motivate this mind, to discipline the life.. and get back on track what I’d left behind. Oh, my nowadays.. time running so fasttttt! I need to catch it up before mr. time leaving me far far awayyy. eheee!! ^^ Till then, my dearest friends. Prays for me ya!! toodle~

-nuna-

Letting out the upset

Somehow, I totally don’t understand people. Seriously, not. To be specified, a friend. Or should I say stranger now? Never mind. But I totally upset on what he actually did to me. Yeah, he WAS a friend of mine. I don’t know the fact that he had a crush on me since form 1 (that time, budak-budak lagi kot… lol). Seriously, I don’t have any idea.. until last year, a friend of mine told me this story; yada, yada, yadaaa.. and what-so-ever. Thus, I decided just to keep that story and don’t want to react on it, since he already has one special someone which is also my FRIEND, plussssssssssss I don’t have feeling towards him at all. So, why should I care?

Even though at that time I’m still single, but I’m not the type that want to grab any men and have a lovey dovey thingy just for the sake of the loneliness. Nope, I’m not that kind of person. Love is something that can’t be forced. It is the master key that  opens the gates of happiness. And I valued that. Plus, I’m considering his girlfriend. You know, it’s not nice to steal other boyfriend or be bitchy on her. Karma, babes.. karma. Please, don’t.

So, I stick on my previous decision. Keep silence. Until one day, he himself wrote an e-mail to me and confessed his feeling towards me. Yet, same response from me; nothing replied. Because I’m afraid he might be hurt if he knows the truth and I don’t know how to handle this. So, silence is the best option I guess. Alhamdulillah, I thought that was a good way to avoid him and let him has a happy life with his current girlfriend. Sweet am I? LoL~ A month passed, and I found that both of them engaged; and I was like relieved-and-happy seeing them together. Yes, I’m happy for them. Honestly. And relieved because he letting me go.

And today.. after browsing facebook and searching for some friend, I realized something. You know what, he removed me as his friend. Pfffffffffffftttttttttttt!!! Okay, on positive side.. I know he is trying to forget me and want to continue his life. But, it’s not fair you know. I’m like a victim in this situation, and suddenly he put all the blame on me. deng! Yes, I can say that I don’t care if he removed me from his friend list; since i have another 800++ friends in the list. But!! You know, I valued each of my friend. All of them. Quite sakit hati. Tapi, dah orang tak nak kawan.. xpelah! Like I care, kan? (but, I do.. :( )

-nuna-

Tolong Ingatkan Aku

Saya macam; WHAT??? This is the winner of the grand AJL 25? Lagu macam ni pun boleh menang ke? pffffttttttttttt! and the scene of sarcasm continues between us, the friends and I. And we concluded that Ms. Ana Rafalli won because of M. Nasir (who was the head of juries) personally like her and only he knows how to judge and appreciate the song. Not the typical-non-arts-people like us. LoL! And the chats about her end as the eyes were sleepy. Oh, kitorang tak rugi rugi mana mana atau untung pun. Cuma sikit je la tak puas hati. Penat-penat tercanggak depan TV enjoy the performances and all… and the winner came out; Ms. Ana Rafalli.

Tapi, kesian juga. Adalah tersangat ramai orang yang tidak puas hati diatas kemenangan dia. Kesian!! During she sang back the song, most of the audiences in the stadium started going back and sungguh!! I betul betul kesian kat dia. Not even once for the rest of my life, I’ve seen in the previous AJLs people are not celebrating the winning. Siap kene boo, katanye. Oh, kesian!

Ok. that the responses that Ms. Ana Rafalli needs to overcome by herself. Yeah, she got to be strong if she want to stay in the current music industry, I guess.

But, I kept thinking why M. Nasir such a great and experienced composer/singer choose her as the winner? There must be something behind it. kan? Do you think so?? Hence, that is why I tried listening carefully to the lyric and try to understand it. And I was like yeahhh! She deserved it. She deserved the winning. The lyric was great and beautiful!! The words are dancing together during the singing. Very beautiful!! Now I understand why sifu M. Nasir choose her. Yes.. tolong ingatkan aku is a great song you know. Not because she’s new in the Industry you guys need to put the blame on her. She works hard to reach the level. Ok, lets forget the critics and all. With this, I proudly agree with sifu M. Nasir and hey, congrats to you Ms. Ana Rafalli. Will waiting for your next project/arts!! And honestly, I reaaaallllyyyyyyyy love the song!!

Here is the lyric:

Jangan disusun kata-kata penamat
Jangan disebut baris ayat keramat
Biar lenyap diserap sunyi
Biar senyap yang tak menyepi

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa

Mari patahkan papan markah lama
Mari padamkan buku tiga lima
Biar luka sembuh sendiri
Biar lupa dimakan hari

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa
Kau dampingi aku
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Bila marah merasuk minda
Kecewa menyelubungi jiwa
Aku lupa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa
Ku teringatkanmu
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita
Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kita

With this, I ended this entry with; Sudah sudah lah tu pertikaikan kemenangan cik ana rafalli ni. She deserved the winning, ohkay!

-nuna-

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kata hati

" kita baik, orang pijak. kita jahat, orang benci. kita angkuh, orang menyampah. kita sempurna, orang dengki. kita garang, orang takut. kita miskin, orang caci. kita kaya, orang irihati." - ikut orang semua tak kena. baik jadi diri sendiri. yang mana patut diubah, ubah. yang mana perlu dibuang, buang. usah gundah. pasti tidak mati keseorangan. sudah ketentuan ilahi. mana seteru, mana sekutu. pilihan di hujung akal.
Don't let someone become a priority in your life when you're just an option in their life... Find a heart that loves you at your worst and arms that hold you at your weakest

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