Check-up

Semalam dah selamat dah pergi check-up di KKIA Bintulu. For the first time, saya pergi sengsorang. Rasa macam kagum pulak, naik teksi untuk ke KKIA. Heee~ Tapi, nak buat mcm mane kan, En. husband keje.. xkan lah nk suruh die amik cuti semata-mata nk temankan saya gi klinik pulak. Dahlah husband xley masuk pun time mrs. wifey duk check-up2 kan.

Alhamdulillah, pergi check sume.. results menunjukkan hasil yang membanggakan. Ibu baby adalah sehat! ^^ So, nurse cakap.. no need to see doc. Urgg, rase mcm nak marah lah jugak. Selalu-selalu, jupe je doc. Tapi, hari ni dah la tunggu sikit punye lame. Sampai lenguh pinggang-pinggang neh. Tapi, xpayah jupe doc pon. Hajat di hati nak la jugak scan kann… nak tgok gender baby. huuuu~ Takpelah, nk buat mcm mane. Dah takde rezeki.. So, saya hanyalah redha. Xtau lah kenapa.. smalam adalah sangat berserabut keadaan di KKIA tu. Boleh pulak org yang dtg appointment kul 11 and 12 dapat turn awal daripada org yang buat appointment kul 10. Phew.. sabar je la, da mende free kann. haha~

En husband pon smpai sms tanye.. xkan xmasuk check lagi yang? huuuu~ nk buat cemane kan.. Tunggu je laaa.. Before pegi klinik tu, mcm agak risau dengan weight ibu + baby. Takut jugak bertambah2. Tapi alhamdulillah.. setelah ditimbang-timbang, untuk bulan ni berat saya adalah di skala normal. Bulan lepas (4 months) adalah 55.3 kg. Dan untuk this month (5 months) pulak adalah 57.1 kg. Hik3~ So, xdelah merisaukan sgt.

So, selepas selesai sume-sume checkup.. saya pun menyusun langkah nak cari teksi. Tiba-tiba terdetik dlm hati.. wah independent nya diri ni. hahaha!! Tapi, sesampai je di kawasan teksi.. perut mula laa nak berkeroncong. So, digigihkan jugak lah langkah untuk ke KFC di depan mata. Itu je kot kedai yang nmpak menyelerakan kat sini. Wuuuuu~ sedih! So, saya pun sms en husband bgtau dia nk gi makan KFC dulu before balik.

Dah sudah makan-makan… (padahal makan ayam seketul je, walaupun order bagai nak rak! nafsu, nafsu..selebihnya saya take away.. hik3) saya pun pegi balik ke kawasan teksi untuk balik ke rumah. Tak tau pulak saya, bila berjalan selangkah dua mcm tu, hasilnya adalah sangat memenatkan. Sesampai je di rumah, saya terus tertdo 2 jam. Dan hasilnya…. lepas bangun daripada tido xley jalannnn!! T_T Dahla time tu husband xblk lg dari keja. Memang rasa sedih sangat2. Xtau nape, bila saket sket je… mesti nak rase touching-touching.. sedih-sedih. hahaha!

So, call mak. Tanya mcm mana nak buat dengan kaki ni. Mmg sakit sangat-sangat.. xbley nk berdiri langsung. Apatah lagi berjalan kan.. Lepas mak suruh urut2 picit-picit sket kat bahagian yang sakit tu. Takut-takut ade urat bersimpul. So, lepas urut-urut tu.. digagahkan jugak untuk bangun dan cuba untuk berjalan.. Hasilnya adalah sangatttt sakittt… Then, cuba dan cuba lagi. Lelama tu, baru la boleh jalan sket. Tu pon, terjengket-jengket. Lepas tu mak pesan. Lepas ni pakai stoking. Maybe sebab kaki tu sejuk sangat.. and jadi cramp smpai cmtu skali. Then, bila da boleh terjengket-jengket sket tu, mula la proses memasak untuk en husband yang bakal pulang dari kerja. Better masak awal-awal.. nnt xpasal-pasal lagi skali kaki ni buat hal.. kene makan luar pulakkkkk (xske actually makan dkat kdai-kdai di sini…) hik3

Phew~~ macam-macam dugaan lah untuk ibu mengandung neh kan.. Terasa insaf pulak, bila terkenangkan macam mana mak kta mengandungkan kta dulu…

Dream of being a Great one.

Syukur to The Almighty. Alhamdulillah. Till now, everything are in their own places, perfectly fit. Once again, I’m grateful… grateful to The Creator, yes. Because, Allah had created such a wonderful stories of mine that were collected from pieces of  life flavors; sweet & sour. And.. from there, I learnt a lot. This life overflowed with love & joy.. by great people around me. Again, I’m grateful  since You had written; for me to meet them. The greatest ones. Alhamdulillah.

Just tonight, I’m in a sorrow. Perhaps, this is the test before I can taste the sweetness at the end? But hey, I’m in need of motivation  and courage right here, right now. I want to be liked some great people. I want to do something that outrages. I want to make the family proud of me. I want to do something for the country. I want to have a better life with my future family. I want to set a good example for others. There are a lot of things that I want to do. Hence, I need to endure the  temporary consequences. And I need to be strong and have a faith on Him. The absolute thing.

p/s: Sorry, if you guys can’t reach me through facebook/twitter. Alhamdulillah, I’m still healthy and happy with life! ^^  It is just  I need some times to motivate this mind, to discipline the life.. and get back on track what I’d left behind. Oh, my nowadays.. time running so fasttttt! I need to catch it up before mr. time leaving me far far awayyy. eheee!! ^^ Till then, my dearest friends. Prays for me ya!! toodle~

-nuna-

I want this and that,

Saya mahu jadi independent,

Mahu gapai semua sendiri,

Saya mahu jadi optimistic,

Mahu ada positive thinking,

Saya mahu jadi high achiever,

Mahu sentiasa nombor 1,

Saya mahu jadi a good daughter,

Mahu semua jasa parents dibalas,

Saya mahu jadi a caring sister,

Mahu adik-adik jadi orang berguna,

Saya mahu jadi a great lover,

Mahu dia tahu I’m the one,

Paling penting,

Saya mahu percaya pada DIA,

Insyaallah,

Tanpa Izin-Nya,

Saya tidak mampu jadi apa yang saya mahu.

Mode: self-motivation.

-nuna-

Saya kata;

Hati saya dah jatuh tergolek-golek dekat awak.

Dia cakap;

Sebelum hati awak jatuh dan tergolek-golek entah ke mana, saya dah kutip hati awak tu dan simpan elok-elok dalam hati saya.

Ouh, dia dah curi hati saya!! ehee~ ^^

-nuna-

I don’t care

at all!

It had been awhile since I took a good care of myself. Around a year plus, I guess. And this time I started to realize something important; myself. It had been neglected since the stupid tragedy. I ate what I want. I did what I like. I’d abandoned the life. The whole things were not in their original places. Messed! It was chaos, in my heart.

You know, it was like I’d locked myself in a dark room. I was spaced out. A lot! Things were better when I had my comrades around. I had them to spent an enjoyable moment together. We laughed, we ate good food, we  played around, we did crazy things. But, since they were graduated, I’m totally lost. I lived in my own world and started to build up a wall from outsiders.

This is kind of  punishment for me. Yeah, I created that to penalize myself for not being able to forget the tragedy. I wish I can delete all the memories away like deleting the person’s number from my phone. However, it’s hard for me since the feeling of hatred keep telling me to remember that tragedy dearly. Thus, I can keep my vengeance from falling apart. Yes, sure I’m not really good in this issue but I’ll try my best.

Therefore, my life was just around work life and family matter. I was became more and more tough than before, outer and inner. Either way. I’d neglected my diet. You know, I’d gained my weight a way too much. About  5 kilos and I didn’t care at all!! That was not even my real self. And also, I’m always disregarded what others think about me. I Let them be. Because, I think later they will automatically shut off.  Instead of that, I crushed my confidence level. No more word for any men, or any new friendship. I was afraid. Totally.

That was me, a month ago.

At last, I’d found the lost key of the dark-locked-room. It kind of weird at first, seeing the shines of the sun and breath a fresh breeze. But, I’m absolutely relieved. Then, I saw a large mirror in front of me. Slowly I take a step, followed by anothers and the image showed a different me. The old one, a year back. Tears were falling and I shed those precious pearls, afraid of being wasted.

Smile was crafted on the face. The feeling of hatred slowly disappear and replaced by an ease. Even though the tragedy was kind of harsh on me, but I think I should be the one who can forgive others not hating.

Now, I’d started taking a good care of myself. I control the food I ate, I initiated the diets and exercises frequently. And to my surprise, I’d loose 3 kilos!! walla~ ^^ adding to the excitement, I get my hot shape back!! All the hard works are really worth. phew~

Seriously, I’m really grateful and thankful to someone. Yes, true. One specific  and important person that just come in my life. Yes, you are doing nothing but I was motivated by your great charms. Million thanks to you my dearest one.

-nuna-