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I’m okay

Honestly. Tak tipu. Depressed was yesterday episode. Sounds like a drama queen right? Perhaps, I am. Yes, yes, yes! Yesterday, I’m totally pressurized by a great loads and I’m broke.  It shattered all over the room.

You know, I can’t rely to others to calm me down. Yes, I can’t. I should climb the concrete wall by myself, following all the guides by the instructor and have a faith on the safety equipments. Because he just can watches me or to be specified, watching my ass from down there and gives the instructions. And I’m the one doing all the dirty works. Climbing here and there. Grabbing anything that my hands can reach. Yes, I’m not letting all the hard works going to waste. I’ll try my best climbing  the wall until the end. It is me, the one that should think how to overcome this problem. I mean my own problem, o/.

Okay. Put aside all the negative feeling. Put aside all the unfair judgment. Even though it might feels like a-duh-whatever! I need to move on. I need to think a way to escape from this desert. I need to find a good land, planting flowers. A land that has enough nutrients and water. So, that flowers of mine can blooming on the time.  Pretty enough to make others jealous. Yeah, you get it now? The idea.

Be independent. Don’t depend too much on others.

Now, I know what to do. I had my own to-do-list here. On that sheet of paper I wrote the plan. I wrote the strategies to counter on. But at this moment I want to release a bit. I mean the dense in my head. I must find a way to go out from this place. Perlu! Ohkay, bye dear peeps~ I’m going to somewhere, perhaps some places to relax this head a bit.

Later~

Oh,-so-random: kau hati, sangat degil oh! Dah tau sakit sila makan ubat yer. Jangan ingat semua orang mahu pampered kau manja-manja. Tak comel, ok kau mahu saya suap-suap ubat ala jet masuk dalam mulut. Oh, spoiled kau hati. Kau sila buka mulut dan cuba telan ubat tu. Bukan pahit sangat. Pahit-pahit pun, untuk kau juga, hati. Kau kan sakit. Duh, gilaa kau!!

-nuna-

Depressed [recover version]

Okeh, saya mengaku saya rasa ego saya tinggi gila. Kalau perasan, semalam atau kelmarin saya ada buat satu entri ‘depressed’. Sebab tak nak tunjuk dekat orang saya ni di dalam kondisi di bawah tekanan sejuta paranormal, saya buang entri tersebut. Jadi, biar orang fikir saya normal. Happy konon-kononnya. Tapi, kesannya saya rasa macam dah nak meletup bagai. Saya rasa tak reti sangat-sangat macam mana nk komunikasi dengan orang. Macam manusia normal lain berkomunikasi. Saya rasa saya sangat keras. Kaku. Dingin.

Shit happened. Mat-mat saleh selalu cakap macam tu. Yes, it it. Saya tak boleh predict semua-semua plan saya senang-senang nak success, smooth macam tu. Tak boleh!! You see, now?? Deng!

I hate to admit it. Saya benci kondisi saya sekarang ini. Cukup. I’m capable of doing nothing. pffft!! Seriously, I’m not in a good condition. Sekarang adalah sangat-sangat low self-esteem. *big sigh*

You know, I suck a lot and stuck in a middle of the journey. I don’t know, what this little head was thinking. It’s not synchronized with my own desires and plans. Whenever I started typing this and that.. both of my hand stopped. Mrs. mind asked them to stop working. Because there is no idea coming out.  Totally, zero. A big ’0′. Seriously, I felt like crying.. and I did. A few time, alone in the office.

But, I said; wake up!! You guys have no time to play around. We should make it by the due. And I know, they were not playing around. They tried their best. Perhaps by  deactivated my facebook account will help to increase the productivity and there is an outcome. But, I still got no idea to write on the chapters. pffftttttttttttt!! What’s wrong with this little brain?? T_T

Hey little brain, I still remember how you guys enjoying those technical thingies, the formulas, the parameters and all. Now, where all the interest gone? You guys should find one. I mean the courage to write the chapters with fun. Not like this. Crying all along. Duh!!!

Helpppp!!!! Onegaiiiii~ T_T

-nuna-

Nak tau tak…

Sebenarnyalah kan.. saya adalah sangat-sangat berganda-ganda happy!! Yesterday I just got a great news!! At least for me lah kan. hehehehe! Ape berita happy tu yer?? Jeng, jeng, jeng~ Rasa cam nk reveals je semua-semua. Nak heboh je kat semua orang.. Tapi, takut pulak tak menjadi. So, nanti bila saya dah betul-betul decided and confirmed to be there, baru saya cite ye. Tunggguuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ hehehe!

Sementara waktu tu, meh ramai-ramai doakan saya; moga-moga sempat siapkan semua-semua kerja by end of August!! Harap-harap, tak ada masalah itu dan ini lagi. Juga encik reactor.. jangan-janganlah meragam lagi. kesiannnn saya, tau~! This time I need to be serious, totally!! Kalau kamu-kamu nampak saya masih bermalas-malasannn.. sila jangan hesitate untuk ketuk-ketuk saya ya~ hehehhee

Okeh, on 12th of July saya ada symposium dan on Wednesday till Friday, saya perlu attend satu project’s meeting di Penang. Oh, this project’s meeting amat-amat penting. Jadi kena setel segala-segala bagai di sini sebelum attend meeting tu. Fighting, oh!

oh, I just received one parcel that I’m waiting for~~ ZARA’s shirt that I’d ordered by online. Heee! Sengih-sengih sampai tinge. lalala~

-nuna-

girlfriends, loves, lingerie, sexy!

Seminggu sebelum ke congress di KL convection centre, saya dapat satu sms daripada Pia. Nana, nanti kalau awak dah di KL do inform us ya. Boleh kita hangout kejap. Saya cakap, don’t worry babe. For sure I’ll inform you guys. Rindu ok! ^^

Dan on the first day, I’d met up with Faei at chillis dan Pia tak dapat datang sebab ada meeting all day. Thanks for the treats chenta hati! heee~ Sangat-sangat rindu kamu ok. Lama sangat tak dapat borak-borak macam ni, all heartedly! hiks~

On the way back to hotel, Pia called and asked to meet up on the next day- after office hour and we did! Three of us altogether- me, Pia n Faei. Guess what, dari jauh saya nampak both of them dan terus saya lari-lari peluk-peluk cium-cium. Rindu,oh! On that evening, we went to our all-time favorites place- Lingerie sections at KLCC and guess what?? While finding a suitable gift for Yan’s wedding… we spend quite a lot of money on lingerie thingies for ourselves. Oh, I should blame the sales, discount, temptations and yadaa~ yadaa~! lols~ oooh, forgot to mention.. maybe because we do love sexy things!! hahaha.. that’s why~

tadaaaa~ the shopping stuff + wedding gift!

It’s still too early for us to heading back home. Then, we ended up at Starbucks and getting some stuffs. You know, one double  choc chip frappucino and a lasagna. Since all of us already had our lunch, thus it’s quite hard to finish the drink and lasagna, even though it’s just for one person’s meal. But, don’t worry. All were not going to waste since during the gossiping, chit-chatting and updating things we slowly ate and successfully finished it! lols~

chenta hati~

3 straws draw our one BIG heart. *love*

During the meet-up, we were having a realllly good time together. Catching-up every single story of each other, did some stupid-old-gag- and we laughed a lot! Reminisces the old stuff really made us want to turn back time. If we could!! Yeah.. during that time, there is no complicated things to worry, such as with who we’ll end up and getting married, money problem, works, commitments and there are too many to be listed. Two years back, we just need to think about study and grades only!! Instead of that, we played around and did some crazy things. lols~

Oh, I still remember those memories. The memories that tied us closer. We slept together and share one comforter, ate together, went to lectures together, stalking handsome guy together, do a lot of things together and always be there for each others. When one of us down, we are always try to lift up the mood while hugging each other. Even we separated by distance, but still you guys are always in my heart. *love*

Faei aka Fyek-chan!! mmuuacchh~

Pia aka bonbon!! ngehehe *love u!!*

Pia said, right now maybe we always talking about getting-married stuff and this and that. Yeah, most of the main topic for us after uni-years. Then, later on.. perhaps all of us will seat back like today, having a tea  and talking about our children and family. Both of us (me and Faei) looked at her and smiled. I said, perhaps~ ^^

Ehem! For those who are getting married (you know who you are ) be prepared babe!! You need to learn a lotttttttttt from our sifu, ema!! She experienced it. hahaha!!! Till then, my dear lovely girlfriends~ no matter where you guys are we will always connected to each other. love, love, love u guys!! ^^~

P/s: Hiks~ sorry for the late updates. Currently, things just out of control and I’m totally forgot to publish this entry. hehe

-nuna-